Season Opener proves fatal for deer

Well, the West River Deer Road Hunting Season is officially open. (This season is open in many states at this time of year, but I'm going to talk specifically about South Dakota guidelines.)

Hunting License. In South Dakota, you can get a learner's permit at age 14 and then an official hunting license once you reach the age of 16.

How often can you hunt? Every day. And there is no limit to the number of deer you can take each season.

Ammunition. The bigger the better and velocity is an important factor. As anyone who has watched the current CSI shows will know, the ammunition often becomes mutilated on impact, so a larger caliber will be more effective and will sustain less damage. A small caliber can definitely wound the prey, it sometimes will cause tremendous damage to the ammunition.

How will you know where to hunt? The government has placed signs along the road where good hunting is most likely. This type of hunting is most succesful just after sunset, but a chance sighting during daylight hours can also be accomplished. Hunters insurance is also important. Without it, you may have a disappointing and expensive experience.

Sometimes the other people in your hunting party show great surprise at your hunting prowess and exclaim that you could be a successful hunter while you are sleeping. I'm sure that this is just a surprise reaction and could be based mostly on jealousy.

This is a wonderful way to make new friends. Once you have successfully hit your target, you will get to meet people who stop along the road to admire the results of your hunting. A "Road Game Warden" on patrol will come to provide you with your "tag" to prove that it is a witnessed event.

Sometimes you also get to stay away from home in a motel where you can meet even more people who are interested in hearing the details of the hunting experience. You will even meet other hunters who will share some of their own experiences from road hunting days gone by.

Cost? Once you are finished with the hunt, you have to visit an expert who will tell you how much you will have to spend to repair your hunting equipment before the next hunt. Sometimes you even have to purchase all new equipment.

The initial guess is that my recent hunting experience could cost upwards of $3500 before I am ready to able to go road hunting again. But I think I've had enough of this experience and will choose to never participate again.

"B" chip to offer Pay-for-NOT-view

I want someone to invent a "B" chip for my TV. (Whitney, here's your chance.) Like the "V" chip filtered out Vulgarity, the "B" chip would screen out all of the Bull**** advertising that bombards my TV viewing hours. It would be able to be regulated like an Internet Security level - Low to eliminate all product/service commercials. Medium - would filter out the Paid Advertising. High would be set to screen out all Political Advertising as well. If only there were such a chip.
Think about it. You'd be able to record the programs you want to watch and never have to fast forward through the commercials. You'd never see another Head On commercial or an Ab Roller or the guy with the mullet on the exercise thing that swings your feet and arms at the same time. Your children would never be embarrased by seeing a feminine hygiene commercial during an episode of Seventh Heaven or a commercial for Viagra during a baseball game. And you wouldn't have to listen to Political ads for two years out of every four year presidential election cycle. Wouldn't that be incredible?

Once this B-chip is invented, it could be rented or sold to consumers. A portion of the proceeds could go to the television industry to make up for the loss of advertising dollars. Some of it could go to Sally Struthers to help her take care of the children in Africa.

Oops - It appears that I'm too late with the brilliant idea - Phillips already has invented something to foil my brilliant idea and patented it. Bastards. http://www.techdirt.com/articles/20060418/1651225.shtml

Meat Counter Now Offering Chicken "chests"

The problem with having a Marketing background is looking to constantly improve the quality of the labeling in whatever store I visit. Yesterday's visit to the meat counter at my favorite grocery store is a prime example. While I was busy ordering steaks, chops, salmon and catfish, the customer (male) next to me was ordering chicken.

Customer: I'd like four chicken breasts please.
Meat guy: Do you want four breasts or four "pieces"?
Customer: I want four pieces of chicken breasts.
Meat guy: But they come in "two's".
(puzzled look)
.....I snickered to myself....
Meat guy: We don't cut the chicken in half that way, so one piece is actually two breasts.
Me (blurting): Well then I think your label should more appropriately read "Chicken chests" since the use of the word "breast" implies one and you are selling them as a set.

Most of these "Meat guys" are in their early twenties with a couple of seasoned veterans at age 35 or so. They are roaring and the nearby customers are laughing as well.

Seasoned Veteran Meat Guy: I've been in the meat dept for 20 years and I've never thought of it like that.
Customer: Neither have I
Me (red-faced): It just came to me.........., and then came out before I could think twice.
Customer: And I'll be talking about it for the next twenty years.
Young Meat guy (to me): Will there be anything else, ma'am?
Me: Nope, I think I'm finished here
Customer (to me): Are you going to be back here tomorrow?
Young Meat guy: Hey, Marv - should I change the sign?

ShopGirl 57038

I had an opportunity to watch over the local yarn store tonight while my friend (and local yarn store owner) journeys to San Antonio to see her son graduate from Basic Training. Although we weren't very busy with customers, I did get a taste for what owning a store would be like.

I went back and forth between being a consumer advocate (pointing them to the free pattern site on the web), to being a full blown capitalist ("you should try this $15 yarn instead of that $10 a skein yarn.") I can see where this would be a lot of fun, but a lot of work as well. I think the toughest part for me would be stocking the shelves with yarn that I would never buy because I don't like the color, or the texture, or the price. I think I've become a yarn snob.

There are beautiful yarns at Susan's store, I just haven't gone into that grouping of patterns that would use those types of yarn. Maybe someday. I admire Susan for knowing what customers want and purchasing to a wide variety of desires.